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Showing posts from April, 2012

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

My momma didn't raise no potty-mouth girl.    I was almost thirty years old when I first uttered the infamous "effenheimer." My late, great, and forever friend Sheila Shanley was in the room at the time. "Thank God," she said.  "I was beginning to think you were retarded." Nope, I assured her.  Not retarded.  Raised by Swedes. Growing up Swedish   When you grow up surrounded by Swedish immigrants, the presence of the "effenheimer" is akin to the close of the age; the second coming of Christ; the hell-fire and damnation promised by the writers of the Apocalypse narrative. "People who use that word show how stupid they are," my mother said.  "And nice girls show how smart they are.  All the time." We can unpack that statement another time. Trust me when I tell you, my mother's unfailing wisdom about smarts, vocabulary, righteousness and decency screwed up my entire life. And made me the

Mad Men all over the frickin' place

The myth of the ideal worker: new workforce, outdated workplace by Lauren Aguilar on Monday, April 16, 2012 - 9:23am     ShareThis Man in suit circa 1903 (Wikimedia Commons) At 6:30am he gets dressed for work, eats a home cooked breakfast, and says good-bye to the wife and kids. He tackles the workday with single-minded focus. He is available to stay late or take a business trip at the drop of a hat. After a long workday, he returns home to dinner and relaxation, while his wife takes care of the meal, home, and kids. No, this scenario is not from an episode of Mad Men . While it seems to parody an outdated lifestyle, it is not far from what we expect of employees today. The “ideal” worker is perpetually available, has no outside responsibilities or interests, rarely gets sick, and prioritizes work above all else

Rules to live by

Never be embarrassed by things that make you happy.  Never say "no" when you know "yes" is in your soul.  Never apologize for your art.  Never buy a house with a flat roof.  And never, never have a drink with a married man.

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The five most common regrets of the dying

A hospice nurse recorded and published the following.  When your time comes, what will be your deepest regret?  Be thankful for the time to correct and change.  1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. "This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it." 2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. "This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nurs

For those who still believe. . .

Easter Day by Oscar Wilde The silver trumpets rang across the Dome: The people knelt upon the ground with awe: And borne upon the necks of men I saw, The Sea of Galilee Like some great God, the Holy Lord of Rome. Priest-like, he wore a robe more white than foam, And, king-like, swathed himself in royal red, Three crowns of gold rose high upon his head: In splendour and in light the Pope passed home. My heart stole back across wide wastes of years To One who wandered by a lonely sea, And sought in vain for any place of rest: 'Foxes have holes, and every bird its nest. I, only I, must wander wearily, And bruise my feet, and drink wine salt with tears.'

Former Northfielder finds success as a playwright

By Jerry Smith Created 04/07/2012 - 00:26 Submitted by Jerry Smith on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 00:26 By JACQUELINE A. PAVEK, jpavek@northfieldnews.com [1] WEB4f7dca5263055.gif [2] A former Northfielder, Kristine Holmgren has served as a pastor, newspaper columnist and commentator for "All Things Considered," before becoming a playwright. (Photo courtesy of Kristine Holmgren)  Playwright Kristine Holmgren has had other careers. She was a clergywoman for many years, a syndicated columnist for the Star Tribune, commentator for National Public Radio and has had her essays and fiction included in anthologies. Today, she’s having a blast as a playwright. Her first play, “Paper Daddy,” will debut next week at the Northfield Arts Guild Theater. “This is the most fun I’ve ever had in my whole life,” said Holmgren, with the exception of the times her now grown-up children were little. “That was fun, too.” She said that she used to write fo

Happy Spring!

  This little guy's name is Herbie.  Herbie Easter.