Monday, June 11, 2012
I don't care what Apple is selling. I'm not buying that John, Sam and Zooey are this lonely - this creepy. And yes. I mean creepy. Have you seen the commercials? When Malkovich murmurs "fantastic," to the pretend woman on his iPhone, he seems decades older than his 58-years, and desperate in a weird loneliness only Malkovich could own. Steve? You up there? You tracking this? Because if this continues, your legacy is in jeopardy, honey. Apple has taken on the ugly task of exposing our favorite celebrities to these maudlin mock-ups of modern isolation. The whole thing is both cruel and sad. When Samuel Jackson gives Siri the "night off," peeking into his fantasy is peculiar and off-putting. And the idea that adorable Zooey Deschanel (and she is adorable - isn't she the cutest thing?) in her pajamas is exiled to a cramped apartment, forced to send "out" for tomato soup - - the whole thing reminds me of long-ago anxious, eerie Saturday afternoons before the babies were born. I don't like it So, Steve - we need your help here. John and Siri are creepy. Samuel and Siri are sick. And Zooey's friendship with Siri makes all of us a little sad. So, Steve? Honey? You hear me? Can you fix this?